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New Kanye sneaker “great for scavenging scraps, looking for other humans”

The new Yeezy Boost by Adidas is the post apocalyptic fashion statement we’ve all been looking for. They’re optimally designed for wandering aimlessly and  eating canned goods by a trash can fire after a nuclear holocaust. Desperately searching for family and friends whilst avoiding the sweeping robot overlords has never been this chic. Whenever I look at shoes I always think “These should look more like a burlap sack used to carry weighty marbles.” Drawing heavy inspiration from the shoes that Tom Hanks crafted for himself on the island in Castaway, the Boost will never not look like a pair of sagging wet leafs hanging off of your foot. These look like a shoe that an oppressive governing faction would make the population wear in a dystopian teen drama, so let’s all buy the shit out of these because Kanye’s a jerk and everyone loves him!

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