Have you ever wanted to have a barbeque but didn’t want to deal with the hassle spending invaluable time with loved ones during your dwindling time in this world? D-D-D-Dying alone. Redd’s Apple Ale has your bitch ass covered! For a small fee, several total strangers will come to your barbeque dressed in Redd’s Apple Ale polos and create enough Instagram content for years to come.
Why talk to people when you could be competing in activities! Pants shitting. Instagram likes. Viral content. Not your grandfather’s influencer. Influence uninterested acquaintances!
You won’t be able to hear or see shit when your head is plunged into cooler full of ice cold water with several loose bottles of Redd’s Apple Ale floating about. Concussion like symptoms. And don’t even try and come up for air until you’ve wrangled one of those floating bottles in your mouth! The Redd’s Apple Ale employees won’t let you! Oops you’re drowning.
Chipped tooth anyone? It doesn’t matter because you’re shit canned on a drink that makes Zima look like Bacardi 151! Get laid, but not really because you’re a loser!Boomerang yourself swallowing a whole bottle and win a koozie! Cough up a combination of water and blood and get all the chicks!
Say goodbye to boring barbeques where friends and family spend time thoroughly enjoying each other’s company and say hello to Redd’s Apple Ale Extreme Meat Burn!