Washington, D.C.-In another act of enduring incompetence, rivaled only by the initial stupidity of destroying the internet, the repeal on Net Neutrality has been re-repealed. The panicked order came only days after the initial repeal, after FCC Chairman and national symbol for spineless lackeys, Ajit Pai, discovered that the internet was necessary for streaming high definition pornography.
“I don’t know a lot about the internet, but what I lack in knowledge for the internet, I make up for in knowledge of hardcore pornography, huffing keyboard duster, and being incapable of wiping my own ass” said Pai, smugly taking a long pull from his duster canister.
Pai has dubbed himself the savior of the internet and the messiah of streaming.
“Everyone should have the inherit right to return home from a job they tolerate, to an unfulfilled wife, and watch PornHub while huffing duster without worrying about throttle or lag. I know I’m sleeping easier,” continued Pai, between quiet sobs into the loving arms of a Comcast executive.