Die-hard Star Wars fans finally get the Darth Maul shower scene they’ve wanted

Devote Star Wars fans have found something inherently wrong with every film release to date. Inconsistencies in timelines, character relationships, technical specs surrounding building a weapon capable to destroying entire planets, and perhaps most notably the controversy surrounding Darth Maul’s genitalia.

A topic more controversial than “Who shot first?” conspiracy theories and more fervently debated than the mysterious origin story of Boss Nass, finally gets the attention it deserves in the latest addition to the Star Wars franchise The Last Jedi.

Though there is plenty to love about the new movie, the highly anticipated Darth Maul shower scene is ultimately the only thing bolstering the critical praise of the movie.

During an emotional discussion involving the origin of the force itself and its evolution and demise over the years, BB-8 projects an unprompted video of Darth Maul showering off after hitting the elliptical machine at the XSPORT Fitness on Tattooine. The video is excruciating in both length and content, as Luke is forced to look on in horror at the steamy video clearly meant for the SnapChat DMs of a Zeltron on Hoth.

The scene is rather abrupt and completely irrelevant to the overall plot of the movie, and some fans have complained that the presence of Darth Maul’s hog really detracted from an otherwise positive experience. But critics agree that the beautifully animated CGI was necessary on every level and makes the movie more avant garde than previous offerings.

One fan commenting “If you’ve ever wondered if the carpet matches the drapes….well spoiler alert…it does!!!!!!”

Fart appears to go Super Saiyan in steamy shower

A seemingly benign eye stinger in any other environment has leveled up into a truly substantial foe within the confines of a piping hot shower. Feeding off of the heat and using the steam as an energy source, the fart transcended into one of the most upsetting stenches in recent memory. Like a true Saiyan the aroma morphed several times from rotten eggs to microwaved garbage before evolving into its perfect form; a neglected petting zoo at a county fair in Hammond Indiana.

Born out of pure hatred the stink somehow smelled nothing like anything that was consumed in the last several days. A completely alien smell with a propensity for complete and utter annihilation. No nostril is safe from the wrath of the newly born Super Saiyan and the lingering effects of the Super Spirit Bomb it just dropped will haunt every crevice of the bathroom for weeks.

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