Logan Paul will put his junk in a lava lamp if you give him money for a Spencer’s Gifts franchise

Hollywood, CA-The steady fart stream of an entire generation and dead animal comedic pioneer, Logan Paul, has officially started his next unforgettable venture…the launch of a signature Spencer’s Gifts franchise as an outlet store in Six Flags Great America, and he needs your help. After getting banned from YouTube for live streaming himself smoking K2 spice blend out of Cecil the Lion’s skull, he’s launched a Kickstarter to fulfill an incredibly deserved lifelong dream.

“I was conceived, born and raised in a Spencer’s Gifts, specifically on a backlight poster with an alien on it which read: Take Me to Your Dealer. My only food source, until I was old enough to eat Auntie Anne pretzels, was boner pills and 90% of the air I breathed was incense burnt from a sculpture of a cats butthole…I owe a lot to that place,” reminisced Paul, in an oddly fond manner given the horrific circumstances.

Now in an attempt to relive those joyous memories, Paul is humbling asking for your donation. The hungry and sick be damned, nothing will warm your heart more than reuniting a YouTube vlogger with a godforsaken mall rat’s nest that has been relocated to live inside of an amusement park.

Not convinced?

If he reaches his goal he’ll permanently maim himself by sticking his junk into a scolding hot lava lamp…and boomerang it! So donate now!

Bang Pt.2 I Don’t Like

Artist: Chief Keef
Album: Bang Pt. 2
Rating: 2.0/5.0
Download: http://www.datpiff.com/Chief-Keef-Bang-Pt-2-mixtape.438612.html

All good things must come to an end. And in Chief Keef’s case it was never really that good. It was a novelty item that you would shoplift from Spencer’s gifts in junior high. Fart pills, lava lamp, F.B.I. (Federal Booby Inspector T-shirt) and most unforgettably the pen where when you tilt it the top comes off a busty woman. It also reflects the immense gullibility experienced in those transitional years. Eagerness to commit to just about any brand of music, so long as it was being widely listening to. Petey Pablo. Ying Yang Twins. Ja Rule.

download

Bang Pt. 2 is beyond dull. Consisting of tired beats and rhymes that rival the book Hop on Pop in complexity. At its best it seems like someone who recently splurged on Rosetta Stone and is becoming discouraged with their mediocre scores. Bang Pt. 2 is completely void of any innovation. It is something that was made for the sake of being made…like American Idol Seasons 2-12, Two Broke Girls, Constantine starring Keanu Reeves, the Miller Lite vortex bottle and Flo from Progressive Auto Insurance. We would all be a lot happier without these things and Bang Pt.2.