Two and a Half Men spinoff show, Two Men, will feature two men discussing a gif they saw on Barstool Sports

Hollywood, CA-CBS is filling the slop pen back up in preparation to feed the masses again, with another heaving portion of unseasoned gruel that will leave people feeling physically and spiritually unwell, but still slightly better than they feel on a day-to-day basis.

Two Men documents the trials and tribulations of having no real opinion on anything in particular, but rather an ability to uninterestingly reference varying forms of internet content. Uncanny mediocrity mixed with a spineless allegiance to disposable content, these two men are ready to launch into a hilarious story about a GIF they saw on Barstool Sports last night.

An inability to form unique thoughts that transcends even having an arguably bad opinion on something.

Watch as two right skewing males spend an entire season offering grunts of approval to varying gifs and memes while trying to learn how to wipe their own ass. Terry Wiley played by Matt Leblanc and Will Vickers played by Kevin James will have you howling as they stare blankly into their phones before retreating to their bedrooms to beat off alone before a fitful sleep.

Critics are saying that the boredom is seizure inducing and are calling the show perplexing on virtually every level. So tune on Thursday and watch Two Men, because you’re too big of a goddamn slob to change the channel. Two Men…who needs women!

Report: GrubHub order fails to stay under $50 again

Chicago, IL-A GrubHub order that, upon creation, seemed destined to reach the sacred promised land of convenience and affordability has forsaken a customer once again. What started as a four taco order with a side of chips and guacamole evolved into a $62 fiesta after factoring in minimum order amount, taxes, tip, delivery charge, driver gratuity, taco making tariff, avocado upcharge, steak upcharge, chicken upcharge, baggy of cilantro upcharge and optional returning customer loyalty fare.

The initial bill was a blur as an all-consuming laziness and desperation for lukewarm delivery enveloped the customer on the couch, paralyzed by a heated Law and Order SVU marathon. Any price seemed reasonable to avoid the appalling idea of cooking or even more upsetting prospect of putting on cloths. And the inevitable Instagram boasting about a sleepy Friday night in.

The next day the crippling guilt of a $62 taco delivery hanged heavy in the studio apartment now covered in soiled wrappers. Maybe weeping into a dirty taco sack is what convenience looks like.

As thousands of GrubHub orders are placed daily, modest thrill seekers still covet the lucrative order that will against all odds make it under $50.