Week 14 Fantasy Football Love/Hate Haikus

Quarterbacks Love
Joe Flacco (vs. Minnesota)
A single eyebrow
As lively as bath water
Ben Stein of QBs

Josh McCown (vs. Dallas)
Trestman’s apprentice
A precious marionnette
Baby, Bye Bye Bye

Quarterbacks Hate:
Robert Griffin III (vs. Kansas City)
Officially Bob
Not smiling Bob from Enzyte
No grinning this game

Matt Ryan (vs. Green Bay)
Now Matty Zima
No one ices with Zima
A lukewarm Zima

Running Backs Love
Ray Rice (vs. Minnesota) 
Is growing tired
Of kicking you in the nuts
For drafting him first

Reggie Bush (vs. Philadelphia)
Trains with Bruce Jenner
Still trying to get Kim back
Better than Yeezus

Running Backs Hate
Any Patriots Running Back (vs. Cleveland)
Hell hath no fury
Like a Belichick scorned
A huge male diva

Rashad Jennings (vs. New York Jets)
Will come back to earth
Backed up like Rex Ryan
After a Big Mac

Wide Receivers Love
Victor Cruz (vs. San Diego)
Return of Salsa
Better than a jar of Pace
Jar of Frontera

Alshon Jeffery (vs. Dallas)
His world we live in
A Universal Soldier
Hands are robot claws

Wide Receivers Hate
Golden Tate (vs. San Francisco) 
A monster blowhard
Will you trust him in your game?
You can’t cheer for him

Larry Fitzgerald (vs. St. Louis)
The roller coaster
Way way up or way way down
The descent begins

Defense Love
Baltimore (vs. Minnesota)
They can stop the run
The pass game will stop itself
The futility…

Defense Hate
Houston (vs. Jacksonville)
The match-up I like
The talent I do not like
Stay far far away