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Area man’s personality is simply the fun socks he is wearing

Chicago, IL –A man with nothing to give has finally found something to replace his deceased personality, fun socks. The zany socks function as the perfect diversion for someone who is physically and mentally void of character. They also have the added bonus of giving off the perception of being a fun outgoing guy when in reality you don’t even remotely qualify as either.

“I’m wearing striped socks…with penguins today! Penguins! Haha, the guys are the office are gonna love these!” said Patrick Kibby, each word dripping with the same frailty as the worn elastic on the Rob Kardashian made socks.

Though the socks are as idiotic as imaginable, acquaintances and family members alike have been relieved to have a loose commonality with the insufferable dreg they are forced to endure on a daily basis. Anything meaningful can be abandoned in favor of the argyle dolphins swimming on a polyester sock.