Hollywood, CA – Kylie Jenner becoming the youngest ever, loosely defined self-made billionaire has triggered the release of four more Kardashian humanoid clones into the wild as promised by Kris Jenner. The clones will be mercifully set loose from their captivity pods in an undisclosed Yankee Candle in Northern Indiana, where they’ve been grown and groomed for the last two decades.
“Whenever any of my kids reaches the billion dollar threshold, the parasite controlling my brain urges me to unleash more clones from our artisan candle shop located conveniently next to both Gadzooks and Things Remembered in the Columbia Plaza Shopping Center in Hammond Indiana,” said Kris Jenner watching the fully nude clones hurtling on all fours across the desolate Indiana landscape.
The clones will be forced to fend for themselves for the first several months, scavenging rotten meat from back alley dumpsters, robbing TMZ reporters with toothbrush shanks and learning to become vaguely human, before being seamlessly integrated into the Kardashian universe with the general public being none the wiser.
“Come on by and get a free pumpkin spiced, cinnamon apple candle with clone purchase!” continued Jenner tilling the newly freed clone soil.