Washington, D.C. – Beto O’Rourke’s campaign has been built on tried and true pillars of American society like the carefree lifestyle that accompanies wearing athletic cut Wrangler jeans, staring aimlessly on an abandoned dirt road and having the lyrics to Ants Marching by Dave Matthews Band function as your life motto. But if being voted most likely to wear the hell out of a pair or desert chukkas wasn’t enough, you now have even more of a reason to cast your vote for someone who’s campaign slogan is “Make American Guster Again”.
Jerry Ferrara who played and has since been living his life as the fictional character “Turtle” from Entourage has officially endorsed Beto O’Rourke to become the next president and the newest member to the now defunct Entourage cast who, other than Turtle, have mercifully faded into oblivion.
“This guy and Vin? They could crush more poon in a week than you’d get in your life!” said Ferrara between gulps of Boonsfarm from a red Yankee hat.
Ferrara who has been trying to get the crew back together to relive the glory days they experienced in a scripted HBO show thinks that Beto could be the keystone to get other cast members to return lengthy and delusional voicemails.
“Yeah me and the crew don’t talk too much anymore, they must be shooting Mediellen 2 or something, but if my dude Beto wins presidency, everything changes,” continued Ferrara.
A vote for Beto is a vote for Entourage.