Hammond, IN – The insufferable merger of two, omnipresent corporate deities is spreading like a fresh case of herpes on the already maimed genitalia of America. The Travis Scott McDonald’s collaboration is the type of uninspired drivel this country loves to heat in a rusty spoon and slam directly into receding veins.
And now, the very fabric that compiles the piss stained trousers of our country is birthing a similarly depressing partnership into the world. Rapper, Fat Joe, has agreed to terms with Denny’s to be the spokesperson for the diner that currently functions primarily as a truck stop shitter.
The “Lean Back Grand Slam Breakfast Bonanza,” will feature all of Fat Joe’s favorite items at Denny’s, most of which are perplexing that they exist on the standard Denny’s breakfast menu at all.
Menu items include:
- A Denver Omelet molded into the exact shape and size of your head
- Vaseline smothered hash browns
- A Diet Sprite rimmed with gas station sex pills
- Season 6 of Burn Notice on Blu-ray
- Sausage link necklace
- Officially licensed “Rock Away,” over-embroidered shit, guaranteed to cause horrific nipple chaffing
So head down to Denny’s and make sure to tell them Fat Joe sent you after you’ve evacuated your bowels in the neglected bathroom!