Grudge Match may be the saddest movie to ever exist

The mere prospect of a movie like Grudge Match existing causes me immense sadness. Perhaps even sadder is considering what sort of warped, depraved and lonely degenerate would spend $10 to see this on Christmas day. Sitting in a caved in theater chair, watching two decaying actor’s careers slowly circle the drain in a urinal at Dave and Busters. Nothing says Christmas like two paunchy, jaundiced and inaudible old men exchanging futile punches and dim jokes. Whenever I watch elderly people squabbling, I always think that 1.) I should film it and 2.) That I should charge people money that film and 3.) Kevin Hart is definitely marginally funnier than Dane Cook, and he’s hosted the MTV movie awards so he should also be somehow be featured.

It would be interesting to see how well Sly’s sagging flesh is adhering to his incredibly unnatural HGH fueled old man muscles, or to see how bumpy Deniro’s bulging stomach appears, but frankly not worth the price of admission. The movie is uncanny, because the plot seems to be loosely unfolding in real time, in each actor’s respective floundering careers. I’ll be spending my money on Madea’s Christmas this holiday season.

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Unexpected

Artist: Waka Flocka
Song: Whole Wide World
Album: Duflocka Rant: Halftime Show
Rating: 4.4/5.0
Free Download: http://www.datpiff.com/Waka-Flocka-DuFlocka-Rant-Halftime-Show-mixtape.484840.html

When listening to Waka Flocka I’m usually either grinding my teeth into used up crayon stubs or putting my head through a brick wall. You could imagine my surprise when I first heard Whole Wide World. A cheerful sample that didn’t pulverize my eardrums and a completely diffused Waka sounding downright festive.

It would be similar to attending the Titanic remastering and discovering Leo had been replaced by Nick Cage. (“I WANT TO TAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP’S FACE…OFF”). Finding out that Dan Brown had penned Siddhartha, Tyler Perry was the visionary behind Shawshank Redemption, or Chad Kroeger had written Symphony No. 9 in D Minor. A lollipop curve. In the case of Whole Wide World it was a truly pleasant surprise.

The lyrics light heartedly shrug off anyone who has doubted or questions his talent, absent of the usual malice and aggression. The blissful sample is the perfect pairing for the lyrics and delivery. Enjoy and cop.