Roscoe Village conceptual brunch spot Endgrain has officially closed it’s doors to reconceptualize. Maybe when it comes back it will be more than just conceptual brunch and actual food will be served. It’s a risky idea that could be considered too corporate, but the exchange of services for money could pay dividends. I tried to go here three times with the same perplexing result every time.

1.) Walk into empty Endgrain around 9:00 a.m.
2.) Ask hostess if we can just sit ourselves or if she needs to seat us
3.) Hostess looks intently at blank piece of paper for 50 seconds to a minute, in complete radio silence
4.) Hostess looks up from sheet and studies face, purposefully sighs
5.) Smugly reports that there aren’t any openings until around 4:30 p.m.

The confirmation of no openings made the hostess so happy she could barely get the words out. She giddily looked at us as though we were escaped felons who had no business in the establishment. Fighting through tears of joy she finally gave us the news and relished in our disappointed looks. I’m pretty sure she smoked a cigarette after. I literally couldn’t be more certain that this place was selling the idea of brunch. If you had an ironic enough mustache you were seated, and got the opportunity to discuss imaginary food pairings. I’ll be damned if I give whatever pompous turd emerges from this a chance.