One Tie All Tie

Whitehouse Origins: Steve Bannon Related to Orcs?

Warsaw, IN-Many people have wondering what stinking retention pond a leviathan like Steve Bannon could have possibly surfaced from, until now those origins have remained a complete mystery. Now researchers have found a pack of nomadic Orcs, currently running a county fair in Warsaw Indiana, who claimed to have birthed and raised Bannon.

Though the Orc population chose to remain anonymous for fear of their relationship with Bannon destroying their reputation and livelihood, several commented on his upbringing, maintaining that he was absolutely filthy even by Orc standards which promotes sweating rotten meat and sustaining a perpetual stream of shit down your legs.

He grew up like most Orcs, birthed in a decomposing egg sack in the bowels of the underworld, raised on stupidity and hatred. Hell…he even got to blow the conch shell before slaughtering a few villages. But as humanity evolved, so did Orcs, realizing that they’re lifestyle was unsustainable, and they needed to find a way to coexist with humans.

But Bannon remained steadfast in his beliefs and his physical appearance had deteriorated so much that even the most carbuncle ridden Orc could barely lay eyes on him. He was banished forever from the Orc society, his hatred and intolerance grew with his loneliness. Now he seeks revenge on humanity as a whole, to trigger the rise of a new breed of Orcs.