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Kohl’s unveils new khaki wedding dress for sensible brides

Hobart, Indiana-Kohl’s has always been known as the beige heart of America. Pumping contentment and aspirations of giving up into the air to accompany the smell of rotting knuckle steaks from the neighboring Ponderosa Steakhouse in the dirty strip mall they call home. The one area they’ve failed to penetrate is the wedding industry…until now.

Yesterday Kohl’s announced the launch of a collaboration wedding line designed by, none other than, strip mall fashion icons, Reba McEntire and Joey Fatone. The exclusive wedding attire targets sensible bride and grooms who feel like they are well represented by varying tones of khaki and khaki like materials.

“We strictly explored the taupe palette when designing these, we want brides and grooms to feel as special as they do after leaving a 4 day mandatory disruptive marketing conference in Orlando Florida,” said Fatone, sitting in a flesh toned suit that made him appear fully nude.

The line is available now, and with purchase, you’ll get $10 in Kohl’s cash, 50% off Nike’s that are 70% off or more, 30% money back when buying Jennifer Lopez clothing with your Kohl’s issued credit card, and buy one get one cotton candy goat. So give up together, with Kohl’s.