Chicago, IL – The COVID-19 pandemic has forced friends and family into isolation, often times unable to connect with each other and thus creating irreparable emotional damage to relationships everywhere. Playing games digitally and watching shows together via Netflix’s new offering Netflix Party fills a certain void, but unfortunately, friends who would routinely consume hardcore pornography together have been left in the dust by innovations in other platforms.

However, as the length of the quarantine grows, desperation will not be the only thing climaxing. PornHub has launched an innovative new social networking platform called PornHub Party, in which friends can celebrate the good ole, wholesome days of burning an entire week watching the most depraved glory hole videos imaginable. Human lava lamps. Minions Fleshlights. The Cuck-It List (starring someone who looks vaguely like Morgan Freeman).  

Friendships that were built on the flimsy foundation of consuming a few cans of Chicken of the Sea and a Dean’s Chocolate Milk Chug while watching One Night in Paris in Virtual reality will finally be rekindled through PornHub Party. Know when friends are online watching, comment together, watch reactions, listen for horrific farts, puke and rally, consider banging the Edible Arrangement you just bought! All the things you used to love, now served up digitally!

What an incredible time to be alive.