A statement from Sea World involving the orca meat Thanksgiving program

In this new normal…fostering community is more important than ever. That’s why for the first time in our boutique aquarium history, we’ll be providing abused orca meat to CEOs who have lost a fraction of their eternal wealth due to financial hardship brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. 

In these strange times, there is nothing more normal than harpooning a suffering animal and letting it bleed out in front of drooling idiots who took out a second mortgage on their house to see it, before butchering the corpse, and offering the luxurious meat to the wealthy elite. 

Rebuilding a community can be complex, but we’re certain that Mark Zuckerberg eating an entire trough of whale blubber and vomiting back up as an appetizer to his Thanksgiving meal is the catalyst for change we all need.

So this Thanksgiving, let’s be thankful for the little guys like the fine folks here at Sea World

and remember to participate in the directionless buying of consumer goods.

Alphonso Knudsen 

Self-proclaimed Whale Fan and CEO of Sea World