One Tie All Tie

Project Pat Blows

Artist: Project Pat
Album:Cheez N Dope
Rating: 1.5.0/5.0
Release: January 2013
Best Line: N/A

Project Pat has never been known for sophisticated lyricism, his songs generally just involve hypnotically chanting on an overproduced song until it it either gets stuck in your head or it doesn’t. (see chicken head, see rubber band me) Unfortunately no song on Cheez N Dope exhibits such novelty. He’s had a pretty steady descent into irrelevance (even his irrelevance has gone unnoticed) but this thing somehow had 20,000 downloads on Datpiff so I decided to give it a listen.

Project Pat’s absolute and utter fixation with Molly in literally every single song makes him sound like a hippie burnout. I would much rather sit threw a String Cheese Incident-Lesters Rant, or a uninspired 172 minute Phish song than this blistering, torrid pile of goat turds. This thing stinks worst than the neglected reptile exhibit at the Potawatomi zoo. (You know how bad these things smell) The beats are weak the lyrics are weaker and there are SIX INTERLUDES and an INTRO. I’m not entirely certain how or why rap ‘skits’ got popular (I think I’ll just default to blaming Ja Rule) but they are the vexing and interrupt the entire flow of an album and these are no different. It’s about as awkward as that 5th grade reading of Our Town and about as boring as reading Silas Marner. I think as a general rule I’ll be avoiding any and all mixtapes that have 20+ songs, please do me a favor and not listen to this…