Taylor Swift chugs ICY HOT from a bottle of ranch dressing in new edgy music video

Los Angeles, CA-Taylor Swift finally proved once and for all that she’s definitely done proving anything that may or may not require proof. By manufacturing an edgy new music video for the cover of Eiffel 65’s Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor has proven that she’s willing to sacrifice it all for the art of music and the ability to make money for the marketing machine overlord that birthed her.

The video is classic Avant-garde Taylor as she dances furiously in a black dress, her own unique color interpretation of death, and then proceeds to chug an entire tube of ICY HOT muscle rub from an abused bottle of ranch dressing…an ode to contrarianism and the imaginary war of good vs. evil being waged inside the empty shell of a multi-million dollar mannequin.

She closes the video by provoking a fight with an ostrich at a rogue children’s zoo on the outskirts of Hammond, displaying her final evolution from a small town girl and the ability to close out a childhood grudge by slitting the throat of a prehistoric bird.

Advertisements

Aquarian God Form

Artist: Mackned
Album: Aquarian God Form
Rating: 4.6/5.0
Download: https://mackned.bandcamp.com/album/aquarian-god-form

Aquarian God Form
was produced and recorded in a Hyperbolic Time Chamber.  An oasis of exhaustive solitude, where days are years and inner turmoil flourishes. The type of seclusion that causes complete banishment from reality. Providing time to cherish thoughts on existence and creation. Consider the past and future in no such order. There’s a certain reverence for this type of isolation, a longing for it. Reality is overrated.

The backwards progression from industrious torment into a subdued passivity is a fascinating evolution. Like a creature elaborating into its perfect form. The first half of the album is a consuming and destructive, the sounds mined directly from Saturn’s Red Eye. It fervently depletes every ounce of available energy. The second half of the album is subtle and reflective. Spiritual. Otherworldly. Containing the buoyant, ethereal state of the night sky as it’s examined on a, seemingly endless journey home.  It recognizes the absent energy, and settles into an enjoyable, relished state of exhaustion. The lyrics and sounds forming a spiraling, elevating, dew filled cloud. A graceful vessel to sail off into the abyss. A restful sanctuary in another reality.

This is the second air tight effort from Seattle rapper Mackned and a slew of producers and artists, who may or may not be  universally adorned artists on another planet, as they should be on earth.

Best Songs:
https://mackned.bandcamp.com/track/stay-posi-prod-by-uptown-greg
https://mackned.bandcamp.com/track/kid-trunks-ft-western-tink-prod-by-mackned-ooooo

 

 

 

Sol Invictus

Artist: Bolo Nef
Album: Sol Invictus
Rating: 4.6/5.0
Download: http://underworlddustfunk.bandcamp.com/album/sol-invictus

Sol Invictus is a pharmaceutical vortex of beats and feelings. The meditative tones carefully cradle introverted, spiritual and resolutely desolate lyrics. These are the sounds playing as an ancient Samurai bladesmith crafts a flawless and honorable sword. Rhythmically folding and pounding the white hot Tamahagane, shrouded, inhaling and exhaling an undetermined murky haze. Or an astronaut wandering thoughtfully and aimlessly on a sandy dune in a vacant desert planet several galaxies away. An album made for the past, and the future, and no time in particular.

Listen: http://underworlddustfunk.bandcamp.com/track/mud

Unexpected

Artist: Waka Flocka
Song: Whole Wide World
Album: Duflocka Rant: Halftime Show
Rating: 4.4/5.0
Free Download: http://www.datpiff.com/Waka-Flocka-DuFlocka-Rant-Halftime-Show-mixtape.484840.html

When listening to Waka Flocka I’m usually either grinding my teeth into used up crayon stubs or putting my head through a brick wall. You could imagine my surprise when I first heard Whole Wide World. A cheerful sample that didn’t pulverize my eardrums and a completely diffused Waka sounding downright festive.

It would be similar to attending the Titanic remastering and discovering Leo had been replaced by Nick Cage. (“I WANT TO TAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP’S FACE…OFF”). Finding out that Dan Brown had penned Siddhartha, Tyler Perry was the visionary behind Shawshank Redemption, or Chad Kroeger had written Symphony No. 9 in D Minor. A lollipop curve. In the case of Whole Wide World it was a truly pleasant surprise.

The lyrics light heartedly shrug off anyone who has doubted or questions his talent, absent of the usual malice and aggression. The blissful sample is the perfect pairing for the lyrics and delivery. Enjoy and cop.

Kismet

Artist: Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire
Album: Kismet
Rating: 4.5/5.0
Download/Listen: http://www.audiomack.com/album/mr-muthafuckin-exquire/kismet

A refuse burdened Kismet has risen from the gurgling and detestable filth. In Kismet Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire meticulously obeys the amoral credence we’ve become so accustomed to in both lyrics and samples. An objective coldness settles in during the first track as he calmly spits over a sample that is teeming with on setting madness.

He drowns the listener with forward and masterful yet abstract story telling techniques and incredible descriptors i.e. “Condoms and sewer water filled with regrets.” Each verse and beat uncoils from the speaker as a fantastic belch or gas as he sinks his teeth deeper into your eardrums. A thoroughly pleasant experience indeed and perhaps the most surprising part the absence of a price tag.

M. Night Shyamalan

Artist: Young Jeezy & CTE
Album: #ItsThaWorld
Rating: 1.0/5.0
Download: http://www.datpiff.com/Young-Jeezy-CTE-ItsThaWorld-mixtape.493338.html

Well…Young Jeezy officially got me with the ole early 2000’s M. Night Shyamalan prank. I have to applaud him for successfully executing this hoax because it’s rather prolonged and tremendously elaborate. Jeezy is currently planted firmly in Step 3, with Steps 4 and 5 quietly looming.

1.)    Release one to two notable and semi-acclaimed pieces to instill a sense of trust in the consumer.

2.)    Over the next few years produce increasingly middling and unexceptional material, just enough to prevent total abandonment. (i.e. Signs and The Village)

3.)    Begin branding your name on every chicken shit wad released and gauge both time and money from said consumer. (i.e. Devil, Avatar the Last Airbender)

4.)     Confirm yourself as an official has-been. If you DO have your weasel fingers in a project it’s well veiled to hide any involvement. (i.e. After Earth still a colossal failure)

5.)      Start doing autographs and selling merch at County Fairs and become host on an off-cable reality competition show.

#ItsThaWorld is a real ear sore.  A maddening endeavor. A tremendous waste of time for absolutely anyone involved. The fury is actually multiplying exponentially with every passing minute writing this review because of increasing casualty of minutes wasted on this album (and because I am staring at the below picture of M Night). It is actually my hope that you’ve stopped reading at this point so as to halt the venomous vacuum created by #ItsThaWorld. Jeezy is virtually non-existent on the album and anything that remains is unsalvageable.

MV5BNDE1NzczMTk2OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTA5MjkyMw@@._V1._SY314_CR5,0,214,314_

Sweatpants

Artist: Soopah Eype
Album: What’s Up Sweatpants
Rating: 4.5/5.0
Download: http://soopaheype.bandcamp.com/album/whats-up-sweatpants

There’s a certain type of voice and flow that seems to disregard whatever beat it is placed on. Often times seemingly off rhythm, forcing words where they shouldn’t be, straddling the confines of the beat itself, testing its patience. It takes a real talent to navigate in this way, its exceedingly difficult, MF Doom is perhaps the largest pioneer of this style, and now Soopah Eype also comes to mind.

What’s Up Sweatpants is an outstanding mixtape, plenty of variety in samples and the complexity of rhyming schemes used keeps the listener deeply focused. There’s also a certain nostalgia invoked. I find myself wanting to play Double Dragon on SNES and spend my allowance on Star Wars figures and X-Men trading cards, and eat Warheads all day.

This mixtape demands play in any circumstance from relief to a banal commute to the blisses of an everlasting NBA 2K round robin, firmly cemented on your favorite over-stuffed.

Andrea

Artist: Andrea
Album: Cruising EP
Rating: 4.8/5.0
Download: http://mooserec.bandcamp.com/album/cruising-ep

There is a certain gentle facet in the first notes of My Morning that invoke tranquility, an abyss of contentment and happiness. Meditative and dense with cheerfulness this song and entire mixtape/EP is a true joy to listen to. It’s brief and ripe with remixes but still immensely enjoyable. The beautiful compilation of sounds and samples crash into your headphones, eager to spread an infectious positivity in the case of My Morning.

My Morning demands night cap play. Elated and exhausted after a night of relentless excess. Sitting on a porch refusing to concede an inevitable defeat to the growing fatigue. As you retreat to the fridge and extract another beer, renewing the lease on the night, you settle into this agreeable circumstance and let the gladness wash over.

VoK

Song: Valley of Kings
Album: Celestial
Artists: Blue Sky Black Death, SAS, Camron, P.A.P.I. ( N.O.R.E.)
Rating: 4.7/5.0
Download: http://bsbd.bandcamp.com/releases

The most versatile producing duo in the game has done it again. They’ve created a brooding, ominous petri dish of noise that allows any rapper to grow and evolve within its sullen yet frenzied grasp. It’s odd to highlight the production this much, but the beats Blue Sky Black Death and SAS are creating are unmistakable a complete and utter ode to the dark, a signature signed with a shadow.

Camron and P.A.P.I. are right at home here, delivering  contemptuous snarling rhymes and a hook that’s more like an anthem.  An impressive feat when a song captures the signature styles of both rappers and producers,  when two entities are somehow melded into one organism.  This was the perfect leak to truly unveil what this collaboration looks like, as the excitement grows for the full release.

Listen:

“E”

Title: Corpse Pose
Artist: Celestial Trax
Album: INNER GODS, FALSE ICONS
Rating: 4.8/5.0
Name your price download: http://celestialtrax.bandcamp.com/

This song has been haunting my dreams in the most magnificent of ways. It’s catchy and there isn’t a lyric. It seems like it could transform the most harmless idea or object into something apparational, uncanny and abnormal. It reminds me of this piercing noise my roomates outdated likely porn infested PC would make as it gasped and clawed at life. It was called the e-Machine and when turned on would unleash this painful noise, a groaning that sounded like a 3 year old verbalizing the letter E and holding it for 1 eternity.

This song will swallow you, it will embrace and eventually consume. It’s somehow pretty gangster even though there are no bars to be found. The whole album is great but I had to do a feature on this one song.

It’s my beliefe that this is  what the man below was listening to when he peered into and forced his way into your soul in the video below: