One Tie All Tie

Wyclef Jean…please retire

Artist: Wyclef Jean
Album: April Showers
Rating: 0.5/5.0

You’d think that after the charity debacle and countless years releasing shit music Wyclef had finally taken his rightful place on top of the throne of complete and utter irrelevance, sunken into a swathed obscurity…until now. I suspiciously saw the Wyclef mixtape rear its ugly head on datpiff and was curious enough to be lured in. Nothing has been more covered in shite since the Chicago Architecture
Tour got enveloped by a load of assorted Coors lite ridden filth and excrement after the Dave Matthews Band Tour Bus driver accidentally “dropped the load” on the unknowing boat tourists. (true story Google it)

Like rotten ground beef crammed into a sausage skin Wyclef loads 36…count em’…36 songs onto April Showers, and not a single one is listenable. For instance in the Bugatti Freestyle Wyclef has rhymes like “Talk Italian to them haters…arrivederci see you later” and “they doing a song, do I want to spit son? Hell yeah! Caribbean connection!” I wonder how many people’s time was wasted making this album; I can’t imagine being the producer and having to feign excitement every day… “Wyclef you are genius! That rhyme with son and Caribbean Connection is pure gold baby!”

There is absolutely no way he listens to this and enjoys it, much like I believe there is no way John Voit watches Superbaby Geniuses 2 and enjoys seeing himself play the nefarious evil villain Bill Biscane for a quick paycheck.