Say It Ain’t So Jay

Top 10 List of things that induce more teeth-grinding than a Jay Cutler goaline interception:

10.) Realizing that Jim Trestman holds an eerie resemblance to the doll that rides the tricycle in the Saw movies

9.)  Remembering that we drafted Gabe Carimi, Todd Sauerbrun and Cade McNown…fail, failure, failurest

8.) Sitting at your computer unable to function after a Sunday blowout celebrating a Bears win or mourning a Bears loss

7.) Getting left to pee in a spicy Italian beef fart cloud either at Soldier Field or local bar where you’re watching the game

6.) Screaming business jargon into a cell phone shaped flask and promptly getting it confiscated by usually aloof Soldier Field security leaving you at the mercy of $9 Miller Lites (or getting any flask confiscated)

5.) Owning Bears players on your fantasy team and being a real life fan. A Bears loss AND a fantasy loss are when combined capable of ruining at least a week of your life

4.) Watching known has-been Mike Miller give a smirk to the camera after draining an incredibly rare three on the Bulls in the playoffs

3.) Looking into the windows at an Xport Fitness and seeing people focus more on one region of their left bicep than a pivotal NFC north matchup

2.) Coming home from a Bears loss and sitting on anything wet on the CTA Redline (see: Flaming Hot Cheeto, Chicken Bone, Sars Mask)

1.) Staring down at the brat your almost done with at Soldier Field and realizing in the last bite the whole thing has been pink as a Lisa Frank pencil

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