Why would someone spend $100 on something that will be constantly soaked in lower back and butt sweat? A garment destined to rub against fart filled gym equipment and locker room benches ripe with athletes foot. Or maybe men and women are merely shopping at Whole Foods and eating brunch in said garbs. It all boils down to; whom or what is driving the sales of Lululemon cloths?
With suspicions of Illuminati involvement, professor of symbology and iconology, Dr. Robert Gale, recently unearthed the seedy underbelly of ludicrously priced, supposed gym clothing.
The logo has perplexed many since its arrival in 1998, and is most commonly thought to be an upside down flame, symbolizing money being lit on fire. Now everything has changed. During an artifact excavation in rural Yemen Dr.Gale found something that could change humanity forever. Cave drawings dated at a staggering 50,000 years ago show what appear to be the origins of the current Lululemon logo. “It’s really quite fascinating, thought I can’t say I’m that surprised.” said Gale satisfyingly. “It appears the logo was derived purely from a rudimentary cave drawing of a tyrannosaurus rex exposing its ringpiece.”
If you closely examine the picture above, there’s really no question about it, it’s clearly a dinosaur butthole. “As I said before, this confirms my suspicions all along that the entire brand and everything it stands for originated from a butthole.” continued Gale. After further research into the particular cave dwelling tribe that created the drawing, it was discovered they only ate organic and were a relatively but enjoyed the illusion of being active.
