Steadfast Star Wars fans across the country are fuming over the recently released trailer for The Force Awakens and it’s not because of the lack of pod racing. “There wasn’t enough racist droids!” shouted die hard Star Wars fan Skeeter Nelson from the depths of his parent’s basement. “Goddamnit, if I know one thing about Star Wars it’s that approximately 90% of all droids on Tatooine were programmed to be racist!” he continued to whine, his voice suggesting a looming tantrum.
It’s not just the cries of a singular depraved man sleeping in a race car bed with confederate flag sheets however, as thousands of people echoed the opinion that it isn’t a true Star Wars movie without rampant racism. The idea that the movies primary focus was the perseverance of hope and good prevailing over evil went right over their heads. “If I’m going to spend my hard earned money on a movie it better damn well be relatable…this is NOT relatable, in the future I hope to own several racist droids…this trailer made that fantasy look pretty bleak.” said one angry Twitter user.
Others argued that the Millennium Falcon was noticeably absent of any Confederate flags, noting that Han did shoot first on Greedo so logically he obviously shared in their same asinine ideology.
We can all hope these bigoted oafs are satisfying themselves with the latest installment of Paul Blart Mall Cop thus leaving plenty of open seats for the rest of us to enjoy what looks to be a beautifully done Star Wars.