Detroit, Michigan-In an effort to corner the looming post-apocalyptic recreational vehicle market, Chrysler has begun mass producing motorcycles that look and sound like you’re riding an actual human being.
The Strider will feature a realistic skin exterior that requires a daily application of Vaseline, protruding bones from malnourishment and a stream of long thinning hair that will blow in the wind as you rove from city to city waging wars over gasoline and whiskey.
Chrysler’s Market research indicated that most of humanity already wants to feel the thrill of riding another human across a desert wasteland and after a nuclear holocaust it will finally be acceptable to do so.
The Strider provides the undeniable delight of riding a person with wheels attached to their hands and feet with none of the emotional or physical baggage that generally accompanies such a feat. But that’s not all…rev the engine and watch as the Strider screams in pain, complete with grinding teeth, bulging eyes and jutting tongue. Perfect for striking fear into other nomadic desert marauders.
So prepare for impending doom by leasing a vehicle completely out of your means that looks exactly like your neighbor and ride off into the sunset over the agonizing scream of the motor.
$439 per month for 36 months with $4,864 due at signing.