Hollywood, CA-A celebrity quickly fading into the oblivion is livid, after a perfectly timed and well planted swimsuit picture surfaced on a website that injects humanity with the necessary celebrity sewage required to mindlessly shuffle through life. Though the picture was barely legible, stuffed between a heaving Smart Water ad and an unidentifiable Kardashian ass, body shamers swarmed like mosquitos in a stagnant pond in Gary Indiana.
But as the bloated flies feasted on the flesh they desired, the celebrity clapped back in the most unique way! “I’m executive producing a reboot of the ABC original dramedy Dharma and Greg,” said the celebrity proudly, knowing that the remake could be a death blow to all internet trolls.
“No one said it was easy, but I’m fighting back the only way I know how, by reheating a sitcom about a free-spirited yoga instructor and a straight-laced lawyer co-existing, evolving and perhaps finding love,” continued the celebrity firing off a string of 5,000 tweets.
Other celebrities and media outlets have deemed this celebrity an inspiration to humanity and a beacon of hope for us all, noting that this scenario is completely different from the hundreds of celebrity body shamings featured in clickbait articles last week. When it comes to body shaming trolls the only real option is thawing an ABC sitcom in hopes that someone like Dharma can teach tolerance and body positivity.