One Tie All Tie

Dad proudly shares pictures taken of inanimate objects at museum

Hammond, IN-The success of any vacation is measured solely by the volume of uninteresting pictures taken of inanimate objects that are inferior in every way to something that could be found in a Google image search. For instance, 25 angles of an ornate door knob found at the historic Elkhart Recreational Vehicle Hall of Fame qualifies as a formative vacation that will be used as banal conversation fodder for years to come.

For Patrick Kibby, the Steve Harvey Wax Museum in Hammond Indiana had sent his feeble lizard brain into a frenzy as he wind sprinted through the museum capturing varying boomerangs and uninteresting gonzo pictures of stationary Steve Harvey sculptures that he could cherish for a lifetime of solitude.

“It’s all about capturing the moment. For that moment in time, I was absently consuming, what may or may not have been art, through the high resolution screen on my android phone. Jealous much?” said Kibby preparing an Instagram onslaught.

Descriptors and plaques are key for indicating what object to swarm and haphazardly document. The larger hive of brain dead fucking bleating goats, the more important the artifact. So while on vacation swarm and capture. Devour, guzzle, take, spend. Every moment is precious.