Chicago, IL – A guy with a visible and wholly unnecessary chip on his shoulder was spotted rocking a massive cross tattoo at the local XPORT last weekend, proving once and for all he is all in on vague notions of Christianity. The tattoo looked particularly New Testament rad as it was paired with a sleeveless dri-fit shirt that read “My other ride is your mom.”
“I wanted to get something that proved I perceived myself to be religious and give a shout out to Moses, who was crucified for our sins and now sits in heaven above controlling us all,” said Casey Trimble, examining the new tattoo while noticeably coveting the butts of virtually every woman unfortunate enough to be at the gym at that time.
Though Trimble doesn’t attend church services and only has a loose grasp on what it takes to act human, he is certain that this $150 tribute to something he doesn’t understand will save him from eternal damnation.
“Hell can suck my dong,” continued Trimble ripping a steady protein far that smelled in the same era as the Old Testament.