Producers of the hit television show Game of Thrones left a Starbucks cup on a table in the last episode and they’re in hot water again after accidentally leaving a fully nude Simon Cowell on a similar table. In a culture where miniscule mistakes result in crucifixion by faceless hordes with absolutely nothing better to do, the errantly placed cup provided the closest thing to happiness most viewers would ever experience in their lives.
And now the country can collectively climax once more, as another HUGE blunder is joyously ruining the lives of diehard fans everywhere. Simon Cowell was on set to begin shooting an America’s Got Talent, Game of Thrones spinoff prequel when some intern who clearly hates humanity forgot to whisper the secret code in his ear that sends him back into hiding.
All they had to do was whisper “Justin Guarini is coming to kill you,” to the comatose, fully nude Simon Cowell and the show’s dignity would have been held in tact. He would have scampered in fear to his nearest hiding place to avoid death by the person who lost American Idol Season One. Now audiences everywhere are left wondering if the show is in fact fake.