Creating invaluable memories with irreplaceable friends that will be cherished for a lifetime don’t move the needle for a couple in their 20’s that is excited to stay in and watch Netflix. Nothing is as exhilarating as being anti-social on your couch with a glass of earthy red in an oversized wine glass and an entire season of House of Cards to get through. That is the true definition of drinking in all life has to offer. Thrill seeking within streaming services is a trend sweeping the nation. “Yeah, someone had backstage passes to the Arcade Fire show tonight, but we’ve really been looking forward to doing nothing, so we respectively declined,” Said Danny Thomas, a fervent supporter of the cozy sloth movement.
Laziness has become a trophy as of late, people honing in on the boredom and using it as a bragging right. Most pictures on Instagram are shot first person at a pair of heavily padded socks sitting atop a stack of pillows or coffee table. To make sure other people know that they are fully committed to sitting on their ass all night, some users have thrown in a glass of red wine, hot chocolate or a fluffy animal. “I’ve taken some where I’m covered in 8-10 quilts, with my bleary eyes barely peeking out…I think I got 12 likes on it, which is pretty good,” another unidentifiable twenty-something fondly recalled.
Sitting on the couch isn’t all thrills however, as there are arduous tasks involved like deciding on what GrubHub to order and subsequently Instagram and what hashtags to use when tagging the unrelentingly cozy pictures. #justchillin #menight #meandmywine #nevermoving #bedsores
As slothism slowly sweeps the nation, we can all expect to know what everyone’s pajamas look like, if they are a cat person and whether they drink red or white wine.