Hammond, IN – Bravo just released a housewives season like you’ve never seen. We’ve sat by with our drool tins and Xanax drips watching ultra-wealthy stapled skin bags shop for Rolexes and fight over who farted in the caviar vase, but we’ve never seen housewives like this before. Housewives from Your Hometown feature the most excruciating women that have never clawed their way out of your piece of shit, oddly racist hometown.
Watch as these women go to wine and paints on a Tuesday night and then spend the next month clogging social media feeds with their piece of shit state bird painting. They join pyramid makeup schemes and spiral into the laughing stock of friends and family alike as they pathetically attempt to rebrand themselves as a girl boss.
Or the heartwarming moment when they get drunk on Barefoot Zinfandel and Facebook livestream themselves hanging a sign that says “Live Deliciously” in a decrepit kitchen. A Stouffer’s lasagna weeping in the oven.
And you’ll REALLY love when these women go out for dinner and take turns using the bathroom to avoid the bill! Or when they frame the doctorate they are getting in Dane Cook Filmography from University of Phoenix Online as more important than anything you have done or ever will do.
So tune into the Real Housewives from Your Hometown today…because you’re from that piece of shit too!