NBC knows full well that the only shows worth watching are those about white male detectives who have some type of generalized psychic ability that allows them to fight nebulous evil forces and solve complex mysteries while also overcoming debilitating character flaws. That’s why NBC’s newest completely original drama Blackout: Miami is just like every other reheated pile of shit you’ve ever seen and why it’ll have you inexplicably wrapped around its little psychic finger.

Blackout: Miami follows the story of Vince Rainey, played by Christopher Meloni, a damn good detective that was released from the force more than a decade ago for never actually closing an investigation. The catch is he has solved hundreds of intricate murder investigations…but only while he was blacked out. Once Rainey hits a blood alcohol level that is 10x the legal limit, his psychic powers are activated and he can see acute case details unlike anyone else. The problem is by the time he wakes up…he’s forgotten it all and has to crawl back into the bottle to try and solve the case all over again. The other dilemma is, keeping him fueled with enough booze to kill a moderately sized rhino is a costly endeavor for a police department that is already short on funds…so the clock is ticking whenever the sonuvabitch mastermind Rainey is around.

With a demented alcoholic serial killer on the loose, Rainey is the department’s last hope and he’s called out of retirement for one final investigation. To the relief of his wife, Rainey will finally use his powers of blacking out for good instead of repeatedly peeing the couch where he routinely falls asleep. Can Rainey finally light the right end of a cigarette? Will Rainey dance with a lamp shade on his head during the office Christmas party? Will he spend his life savings at Taco Bell one last time? Will Rainey become the liquor? Will he finally…remember?

Find out on NBC’s newest alcoholic white male psychic cop drama Blackout: Miami