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Yeezy Season 3 is Kohl’s least challenging fashion line yet

The middle aged, fashion illiterate, executives at Kohl’s were licking their plump sweaty upper lips at the release of Kanye’s new fashion line yesterday at Madison Square Garden. “All of it looked very beige…and very ill-fitting.” said a salivating Paul Serone as he dabbed a noticeable glaze from his forehead, which happened to be the same color as the Marc Anthony suit he was wearing.

Kohl’s didn’t become the national powerhouse it is by deviating from ill-fitting, flesh-toned clothing. So when Kanye said he wanted to do a fashion line highlighting these features, Kohl’s couldn’t have been more pleased.

“Our cloths have always allowed customers to appear bulky, uncomfortably naked and sickly. This Kanye line is a testament to that.” continued Serone looking quite unwell himself. “And that soiled fur that Kim was wearing! My god, now that’s the vaguely second hand look we’ve been striving for!”

Yeezy Season 3 will debut at $299.99 but will be inexplicably, immediately on discount at $52.99 with an extra 20% off if you use $10 or more Kohl’s cash from your last purchase.