Navy Pier, Chicago- A woman who was visiting the city from Naperville on a girl’s night out, which she had been painstakingly planning for months, faced a critical decision Monday night. Looking unforgivably suburban, her and her group clumsily maneuvered the hidden gems only known by locals. Starting and Bubba Gump Shrimp and graduating to the lesser known Harry Carry’s Tavern, she realized that with the brutal onslaught of duck faced selfies and mediocre food was filling up her phone. There wouldn’t be enough room to record the night’s fireworks show in its entirety.
The night would be an inarguable failure without that coveted video. Taking pictures and videos was after all the sole purpose of coming to the city. Her ability to prove that she was a fun loving city girl to all of her coworkers would be stifled. “I needed that video, my Instagram looked super artistic, plus that Merica’ bit from 2009 is still a classic! #merica,” said Tammy Garrett, picking out a frosted shot glass with the word Chicago on it from a souvenir kiosk.
“The extra memory had to come from somewhere, so I purged a bunch of pictures of me with my grandma who recently passed, along with a few videos of my daughter’s first steps,” continued Garrett excitedly recording the fireworks that were the exact same as ten years prior and the ten years prior to that. Her inability to back up her phone means the pictures and videos deleted are lost forever, though fortunately she does now have a recording of indistinguishable fireworks to reminisce on.