One Tie All Tie

McDonalds introduces farm to table viewing port, the McHole

In an effort to adhere to the, now mandatory, farm to table culinary experience, McDonalds has launched its first ever restaurant in which customers can see their food being harvested and made. The new restaurant is located in Houston Texas and adjoins to a 24 hour Greyhound bus station just off the highway. Each bathroom is equipped with a crudely fashioned duct taped hole, branded as the McHoleTM, in which customers can peer out at majestic herds of malnourished chicken and cattle roaming aimlessly on the highway median.

Let the warm breeze sweep across the stagnant retention pond and wash over that curious eye, which is glued to the sweating wall of a McDonald’s bathroom. Watch as a man in soiled hazmat suit sprints after a group of chickens before promptly capturing them with a giant net and shoving them into a rusted gear system that will grind them into nuggets. It’ll make you think back to simpler times…at that ranch in Montana. Rustic, hardworking, living off the land.

Bob Seger’s Like a Rock is playing and stirs something deep within you. If you’re lucky enough you’ll even see goat droppings being collected to make coffee and the hoof of a cow being shaved onto a soy patty to make if officially qualify as a burger. Even luckier still, you’ll see a freshly plucked pube being added carefully to your parfait.

The McHoleTM will leave you yearning for that freshly made, seasonal food and also doubles as a glory hole for eager Greyhound riders.