Chicago, IL- Anyone looking for a side of good ole fashioned Christian guilt to go with their failing heart, loose bowels and erectile dysfunction is in luck. Chick-fil-A’s new “Fire and Brimstone” spicy chicken sandwich is here to burn your butthole and your conscience. Made with real ghost papers and garnished with a tuft of Joel Ostein’s pubes is just the start of this iconic sandwich, which has an added surprise when you tear into the all white patty made of completely heterosexual chicken meat. 

As the meat slides against your teeth, if you listen closely, it actually sounds like the priest you knew in grade school giving another brutal homily about how fast everyone is going to hell! Classic Father Tony! 

And the best part is, your body can in no way digest whatever else is in the sandwich, it has to be passed via exorcism! Very cool!

So be prepared to feel all of the guilt and shame that Adam felt when he took the first sip of Redd’s Apple Ale! Try the new “Fire and Brimstone” spicy chicken sandwich today.