Week 2 Fantasy Football Love/Hate Haikus

Quarterback Love

Nick Foles
Go Away! Batin’!
Loves money and sex with chicks
Costco time machine

batin

 

Jake Locker
The Dallas Defense
Is worse than Space Jam’s Tune Squad
Tune Squad sans M.J.

halftime

 

Quarterback Hate

Peyton Manning
Hamburger Pizza
A lingering pregame snack
White pants become brown

peyton-za

Robert Griffin III
Nothing in the tank
Has-been playing county fairs
Just like Sugar Ray

rg3

 

Running Backs Love

Chris Johnson
Gold grills are too trill
Has Lenny Kravitz dreadlocks
C.J. fly away

Lenny_Kravitz_Fields_of_Joy_cover

Marshawn Lynch
Marshawn Skittles cloud
Forecast: torrential downpour
Candy bludgeoning

skittlescloud

Running Backs Hate

Steven Jackson
Can barely stand up
Watch him faint behind the line
Back of calf face plants

Steven+Jackson+St+Louis+Rams+v+San+Francisco+GxcTzGX0y4Sl

 

Doug Martin
The muscle hamster
Only enjoys burrowing
Not running wild, free

dougy

 

Wide Receiver Love

Victor Cruz
Enjoys Pace salsa
Instead of red Gatorade
More electrolytes

pace

Vincent Jackson
It is most quiet
Before the storm, and most dark
Before any light

vjax

Wide Receiver Hate

Percy Harvin
Is more volatile
Than an expired McRib
A blowout coming

percyharvin

 

Dwayne Bowe
Suspended or not
Toil in irrelevance
Bong loads make stone hands

biodome

 

Tight End Love

Rob Gronkowski
The bionic man
Or bicentennial man
The Iron Giant

xwxsasa

Tight End Hate

Jordan Cameron
A dumpster fire
Nothing is salvageable
Abandon all Browns

flaming

Defense Love

Tampa Bay
The St. Louis Rams
Louisiana Mud Dogs
Sans the Water Boy

9-waterboy

Defense Hate

San Francisco
Lunch Lady Romo
Will not be serving hot picks
This is not Dallas

tumblr_mqj4o6Zpmz1qfywy0o1_r2_400

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