Good at relentlessly pressuring unassuming friends and relatives into buying fictional weight loss products? Ever wanted to create your very own imaginary business, selling imaginary products to real people? What about making marginal amounts of money in a sophisticated pyramid business structure? Well what’re you doing still sitting there? Sign your soul over to us at ItWorxxx Bodzzz and create enough debt for a lifetime of hawking our chicken shit products.
Once you sign up you will be sent over $250,000 of completely non-refundable merchandise that you must sell within a month or you are sent another $250,000 of non-refundable merchandise. This will continue until you die in which case your family will inherit the entirety of your debt and the responsibility for selling body wraps. That’s right every person in your life will be enjoy this horrible burden as their own!
In the unlikely scenario in which you exceed $250,000 in sales by selling dirty bandages that allegedly trigger immediate weight loss, you will be rewarded with an ItWorxxx Bodzzz lanyard, t-shirt and commemorative mug. You’ll also achieve the completely arbitrary and illusive Quadruple Diamond ranking to add to perceived importance. We totally trust you to meet the goal though because YOU are special and YOU deserve this! Did we mention how great it feels cramming your body into a couple feet of Vaseline laden saran wrap? Like ground beef into a sausage casing! A positively pleasant wrap experience!
And what about the unlimited amounts of spamming material for any and all social media outlets? We hired acclaimed author Dan Brown, to write only the finest materials to assail loved ones with. Be prepared to drop a nuclear bomb of Caps Lock ridden nonsense that will cause everyone on your feed to question whether or not you’ve been committed to a loony bin.
So sign up with ItWorxxx Bodzzz now and watch your Facebook friends, Instagram followers and bank account all vanish!