Hammond, Indiana-The resident DJ at Industrial Strip located in the heart of buzzing Hammond Indiana, referred to as many as the poor man’s Atlantic City of the Midwest, made a grave error in judgement on Wednesday night. DJ Sticky Bootz did something unspeakable in the illusive realm of weeknight strip club DJs. Committing an act so heinous that he could be facing a lifetime ban from all strip clubs, titty bars, gentlemen’s clubs and any establishment that has a crudely fashioned glory hole in the greater Indiana area. Cracker Barrel’s not included. A loathsome betrayal of sacred strip club doctrine.
“It was a hell of a set, legendary really. But after his fourth run on Cherry Pie by Warrant he entered into a damn frenzy and screamed “Alrighttttt! How’s everybody feeling out there tonight?!”” said a visibly distraught Phillip Biggins, as he ordered another glass of 2% milk from the bar. The disturbing silence that followed the question still haunts the fibers in the inexcusable shag carpeting to this day. The woeful guests equal parts confused and enraged.
“We we’re all excited, Warrant can really belt em out and Jade was on fire on stage 11. But there’s no damn reason to make us well paying customers address our fragile emotional state, dwindling grip on reality, or sexual confusion we’ve been burying all of these years. Sticky Bootz was the face of Hammond…and now he’s a nobody,” Continued Biggins making a heavy adjustment to his thinning sweatpants. Biggins house will be foreclosed on Wednesday of next week.