The thirty seconds spent in an elevator with the coworker that you’ve spent the last 3 years painstakingly growing to tolerate is the first ingredient toward any successful office panic attack. Because most days are spent in a ruthless game of calendar cat and mouse, as meetings are made and cancelled, double booked, or mysteriously vanish, all in an effort to drink in another moment of solitude, being held hostage in the confines of a steel gondola is less than ideal.

As you stand there hopelessly staring at your phone or the screen on the elevator wall displaying a TMZ story that broke a decade ago, you realize that the excruciating silence that accompanies trying to find a vague platitude to discuss is making your eyes bleed. However, in a moment of mundane clarity, you realize that a conversation about what day of the week it is may just be dull enough to satisfy the insatiable need for irrelevant noise.

….Tuesday huh? Heh

Oh yeah it is DEFINITELY Tuesday!

Yep…crazy that it’s Tuesday!

I know! Better than Monday though!

For sure…but I wish it was Friday!

Oh…Friday would be nice!

Working for the weekend!

For sure…

Mmm Hmm…

The elevator doors mercifully open and both parties recede back into glorious silence.