Doomsday clock set to 3 minutes, humanity promptly disregards

Last week scientists announced that the metaphorical clock predicting the demise of humanity is a mere three minutes to midnight. Though the global landscape is bleaker than ever before and things seem generally unsalvageable, there are more important things at hand. “Doomsday Clock is the third cousin of Steven Avery’s first wife right? I think that I read that potentially groundbreaking testimony somewhere on Facebook last week…or wait was that the name of a Top 5 Men’s Hair Styles of 2016? Either way, fuck it.” said Jason Shepard gazing aimlessly at a game of Candy Crush: Farmhouse Sage.

This seems to be the general consensus as mankind remains only vaguely aware of the universal shortcomings that will cause the end of us all. And with good reason…because there’s always a person that you haven’t talked to in a decade posting an asinine selfie on Instagram for you to passively judge. Time well spent.

As humanity continues to hurtle towards extinction, in all of our dying days, we can at least find solace in the 25 Craziest Moles found on Kris Jenner’s Ass in 2016. 

MTE5NDg0MDU1MzgxMzc4NTc1

Advertisements

One thought on “Doomsday clock set to 3 minutes, humanity promptly disregards

  1. Spot on.
    Just out of curiosity, what are your thoughts on “doomsday” itself? Seeing as we have a tendency to ignore it and hope it will go away, do you think it will be too late to stop by the time we get our act together?
    And maybe, just maybe, could it be a good thing?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s