A sagging, jaundiced man who once gave you an unsolicited business card in the parking lot of an abandoned Dave & Busters in Northern Indiana just endorsed you for “chins” on LinkedIn. The endorsement comes nearly a decade after the bizarre interaction in which you were propositioned with starting a glory hole forward, spinoff restaurant called Buster’s.
Because ignoring something as coveted as an endorsement from a psychopath on an insufferable business networking sight would be considered rude and perhaps a hasty career gamble, you should follow these steps to craft the perfect InMail follow up!
- As they say in the business world, lean in. Do a gravity bong of K2 synthetic weed and start crafting a 10,000 word manifesto on why you also require endorsements for saddle bags and muffin top
- Reciprocate the act of kindness with a counter “Carson Daly Impressions” endorsement
- Initiate a Kickstarter for teaching underprivileged kids how to slack line
- Drink a virgin Redd’s Apple Ale and post your favorite RedTube link to your LinkedIn profile
- Withdraw your life’s savings and launder it in iTunes gift cards while learning how to install a series of complex glory holes
You’ll be a successful entrepreneur in no time at all!