Chicago Heat

Artist: Hollywood Squadda
Album: In the Name of Greenova EP
Song: Oh Yeah
Rating: 4.5/5.0

The humidity in Chicago 3 days ago was 200%. Every breath was like eating a steaming hot Shepard’s pie. Breathing was an enormous undertaking, as the odious, moist and sticky air did not lend itself to easy consumption or expulsion. A morning where you hate everyone and everything. Exchanging perspiration with jaundiced sunken business man next to you sweating through his suit. Each fried hair on his balding head drenched and clinging to the disintegrating root. Very few things are enjoyable on mornings like these, as no one likes to go to work with a saturated stinking ringpiece, that is generally reserved for the end of the day.

The only escape was the soothing sound of Hollywood Squadda’s Oh Yeah. As my breaking point approached, a calm came over me. The peaceful beat of Oh Yeah had somehow tamed some of my frustration. Hollywood Squadda’s auto tuned voice had transcended the heat and like a lullaby put me into a trance like state where I was vaguely unaware of the heat’s misery. It was welcomed, I sat and enjoyed the song until my stop and promptly left the train thinking it was overall a very bearable experience.



Reminiscent tho

Artist: G Eazy
Album: Must Be Nice
Song: Marilyn
Rating: 4.4/5.0

It’s as though I existed simultaneously in two realms of time. Physically…sitting with numbing limbs allowing the size 11 Times New Roman on the screen to further decay my retinas. Mentally I was elsewhere.  In a 1995 suburban with leather seats, I remember this because just as I longed for a few more moments of the best summer up to that point in my life, my aloe drenched skin refused to detach as we pulled into the San Diego Airport.

Letting the puka shells dig into my sunburned neck, and listening to the just released Fly by Sugar Ray through my water logged ears, I became immensely sad at the thought of only living this summer once.  Experiences certainly cannot and are not meant to be duplicated. Though we fantasize they can. Each experience living as its own unique organism suggests why they are so celebrated and cherished.

I say organism because as time passes that memory molds, shifts, inflates and inevitably decays. Trying to duplicate only muddles the memory. An incredible/rare grouping of emotions and people that you and anyone else there shares, owns and remembers in entirely different ways. What I didn’t realize at that airport in 1997 was I would have dozens of other summers just as joyous or perhaps more joyous but differently so.

This song for whatever reason makes me feel that way:

Goddamnit…Asher Roth

Artist: Asher Roth
Album: The Greenhouse Effect Vol. 2
Rating: 0/5.0

I can’t figure out who Asher Roth is making music for. It’s likely the same demographic of people that consume Miller 64 while playing beach volleyball. His most recent album was extra upsetting and threw me in to quite the little snit. It’s rare that something on first glance can cause such immense annoyance but what pie-eyed  hesher was the mastermind behind the absolutely inane looking cartoon below? Every song worse than the one before until it culminates on song 23, the largest toilet clogging/staining protein sinker in the last decade.

Far more annoying than Johnny Depp turning every single character he plays, no matter the genre or era, into a face painted flamboyant pirate that prances around like a deflated scarecrow and EASILY more annoying than the guy tilting his 36 oz Evian bottle and filling it to the brim at the gym water fountain, not a care in the world, including  the withering cotton mouths lined up behind him. Prepare to be incredibly frustrated:



Lean On Me

Artist: Killa Kyleon
Song: Lean On Me
Album: Lean On Me: The Adventures of Joe Clark
Rating: 4.3/5.0
Free Download:

The original Lean On Me displayed the selflessness of the human heart. The profundity of bonds that are created, sometimes with strangers,  throughout a lifetime. That bond would cause us to support someone unrelentingly, provide comfort in the most dire of times.

Killa Kyleon casually trades this mantra in for one that promotes smoking weed and drinking codeine in a club until you quietly doze off and actually physically require assistance to stir you from your slumber and act as a crutch as attempt to move your concrete limbs. I would imagine this looks something like the cumbersome/crude maneuvering of the decaying corpse of the late Bernie Lomax. I would resent this person greatly, as lugging them around must be an incredible chore.

Leaning seems eerily similar to watching a Queen Latifah filmography with a flock of Snorlaxes and people with mono in a room with a high pollen count. Mind numbing…drowsy, but awesome all the same. I suppose like the original there is something profound about it.  As going comatose in a club full of strangers is the ultimate trial in trust. This will be used as an alternate to the Trust Fall in business seminars in the future. The simple play on words and overall flow make it really enjoyable.


Artist: Waka Flocka
Song: Whole Wide World
Album: Duflocka Rant: Halftime Show
Rating: 4.4/5.0
Free Download:

When listening to Waka Flocka I’m usually either grinding my teeth into used up crayon stubs or putting my head through a brick wall. You could imagine my surprise when I first heard Whole Wide World. A cheerful sample that didn’t pulverize my eardrums and a completely diffused Waka sounding downright festive.

It would be similar to attending the Titanic remastering and discovering Leo had been replaced by Nick Cage. (“I WANT TO TAKE THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP’S FACE…OFF”). Finding out that Dan Brown had penned Siddhartha, Tyler Perry was the visionary behind Shawshank Redemption, or Chad Kroeger had written Symphony No. 9 in D Minor. A lollipop curve. In the case of Whole Wide World it was a truly pleasant surprise.

The lyrics light heartedly shrug off anyone who has doubted or questions his talent, absent of the usual malice and aggression. The blissful sample is the perfect pairing for the lyrics and delivery. Enjoy and cop.


Artist: Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire
Album: Kismet
Rating: 4.5/5.0

A refuse burdened Kismet has risen from the gurgling and detestable filth. In Kismet Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire meticulously obeys the amoral credence we’ve become so accustomed to in both lyrics and samples. An objective coldness settles in during the first track as he calmly spits over a sample that is teeming with on setting madness.

He drowns the listener with forward and masterful yet abstract story telling techniques and incredible descriptors i.e. “Condoms and sewer water filled with regrets.” Each verse and beat uncoils from the speaker as a fantastic belch or gas as he sinks his teeth deeper into your eardrums. A thoroughly pleasant experience indeed and perhaps the most surprising part the absence of a price tag.


Artist: Ludacris
Album: #IDGAF
Rating: 2.0/5.0

After I discovered Ludacris was playing a show at local comically and fiercely corny beach themed bar “Uncle Fatty’s Rum Resort” I assumed his career had taken a slow and steady nose dive. Though I’m not a rapper I assume you’re probably taking a long hard look at your life when your feet are sunk deep in urine soaked fake sand, and your surrounded by bouys and posters that say “TRESSPASSERS WILL BE offered A SHOT!” (No offense to the usual cover bands that perform there, nothing like hearing a P!NK cover being played a +40 year old Vietnamese bass player)  


Luda hasn’t released anything passable since he started shamelessly and remorselessly pimping possible marginally better than average  Conjure Cognac. He’s become consumed by it. Past mixtapes have involved him barking at listeners to buy. It sounded like an American Freight Furniture commercial.

Luckily hes strayed away from that angle in his newest mixtape, but its still light years away from the old Luda.  #IDGAF is ripe with mediocrity, it’s the dull number 2 pencil you used to take standardized tests. Nothing awful but absolutely nothing noticeable either. A gentlemen’s C.

Spoiler Alert: Excessive Use of Auto-tune and absence of good punchlines highly prevalent.  I would say the song featuring Mac Miller is probably the best on the album, but if you can avoid it absolutely do so.


Artist: Andrea
Album: Cruising EP
Rating: 4.8/5.0

There is a certain gentle facet in the first notes of My Morning that invoke tranquility, an abyss of contentment and happiness. Meditative and dense with cheerfulness this song and entire mixtape/EP is a true joy to listen to. It’s brief and ripe with remixes but still immensely enjoyable. The beautiful compilation of sounds and samples crash into your headphones, eager to spread an infectious positivity in the case of My Morning.

My Morning demands night cap play. Elated and exhausted after a night of relentless excess. Sitting on a porch refusing to concede an inevitable defeat to the growing fatigue. As you retreat to the fridge and extract another beer, renewing the lease on the night, you settle into this agreeable circumstance and let the gladness wash over.

Childish Gambino Blows

Artist: Childish Gambino
Album: Renaissance Man
Rating: 1.0/5.0

Childish Gambino is essentially a bargain bin Kanye…something you would find in a bin at Big Lots (Odd Lots) with knock-off Kindles and straight to DVD movies with Eugene Levy cameos. His voice identical, his delivery identical, but the substance and swag isn’t there. Childish Gambino is the most apocalyptically self-congratulatory rap name ever…it is a goat turd of a rap name. We get it your making a hilarious jab at the apparent absurdity of some rap names out there.  Though,  it’s those larger than life names and corresponding personalities that draw us deeper into the mixtape world, this smarmy and essentially unutterable name is rather polarizing. You would purchase a Childish Gambino album in the same cart with several pairs of well-crafted foakleys.  Or a  pair of fur lined crocs. Or one of those generic Go-Chicago t-shirts you see at Jewel branded exactly like Bulls or Cubs. Just reeking of knock-off.


He seems to perpetuate a lot of unwarranted anger that makes the album a rather regrettable listen. The entire album just sounds like one long gripe. In fact this blog post is starting to sound like his album…The only way I could ever see anyone getting this album is if you were still somehow a member of that ole BMG music scam where you were bullied into ordering 10 albums every week. The idea of “I hope the show gets cancelled, maybe then I can focus,” and later bitching about the 1% are just a few of the enraging contradictions found on the album. It is a complete unsalvageable pile.