Week 11 Fantasy Football Love/Hate Haikus

Quarterbacks Love
Andrew Luck
Deepest voice ever
Slow motion Talkboy F/X
Buzz’s girlfriend woof

Mike Glennon
Miley Cyrus hair
Arm is like a wrecking ball
Runnin’ on molly

Matthew Stafford
Lambda Gun Slinger
Butt bongs beer regularly
A doughy frat boy

Quarterbacks Hate:
Joe Flacco
The Flaccid Flacco
Always in refractory
Non elite QB

Alex Smith
I nap when he plays
Noodle armed lullaby
Can’t hang with Peyton

Carson Palmer
He can barely move
Most average human ever
Despises winning

Running Backs Love
Ray Rice
Will find his talent
Like the Toon Squad in Space Jam
A trap game for Bears

Mike James (if he plays)
The new super freak
Fuck your couch Charlie Murphy
I am Mike James bitch

Alfred Morris
A better butler
Than even Michael Kane is
Alfred Pennyworth

Running Backs Hate
Ben Tate
A bad batch of ribs
Some eaten at Applebees
Sad establishment

Jamaal Charles
When points are dropped
And one team cannot keep up
The running will stop

Steven Jackson
A bigger helmet
Is the first step to fixing
Nose touches facemask

Wide Receivers Love
T.Y. Hilton
Had something to prove
Is now Reggie 2 point 0
The franchise future

Andre Johnson (Andre 3000)
Keenum is Big Boi
Remaking Aquemini
A masterpiece game

Wide Receivers Hate
Steve Smith
Age is catching up
Aqib Talib is as well
The fade from stardom

Cecil Shorts
Arizona D
Is smoking blunts with Blackmon
Cecil can’t survive

Defense Love
Chicago
See Flaccid Flacco
A Superbowl hangover
Offense is awful

Defense Hate
Carolina
Golden boy is back
He’s wearing Uggs and CK
Also complaining