https://youtu.be/Y6ZeXLD4ywQ

This Fiat boner commercial has been causing a pretty good stir in my head lately. As I mull what a car boner consists of and the depth of perversion involved in such a consideration, I keep wondering who the hell thought putting a bulging, pulsating red car in the commercial was a good idea. The commercial seemed relatively straightforward and innocent at first, and frankly I observed it as such, another zany car commercial that would never actually convince anyone to buy a car.

This thing has been played relentlessly though, enough so to make me consider some of the more subtle, deviant details of the commercial. The color of the car being red, the erect plastic paneling and the women in the town oddly gushing over the swollen, streaking red rocket, are all things that have caused me considerable mental anguish over the last several weeks.

That’s not to mention the inherent sadness of the deteriorating human body. Examining the human reliance on medicine to function properly as your mind and body decline is marketing 101. What is this frisky old timer’s plan once he catches the engorged red car that’s swallowed his Viagra? Slam a straw in that tank and start sucking a gas soaked Viagra out? If he doesn’t pass out from the fumes or gas consumption first, the remains of the pill will likely be diluted at best, so have fun working with that. Have fun convincing your wife to have sex with you after inhaling a gasoline and Viagra cocktail. If you’re successful in convincing her, good luck performing with a belly full of unleaded.

Fiat, the boner car.