Area Cubs fan excited for season to start so he can yell “If you shake it more than one, you’re playing with it!” without judgement

Wrigley field Bathroom, Chicago, IL-An area Cubs fan has been polishing his bathroom line material all off season and will finally get a chance to unleash his sophisticated comedic genius on other fans as they wait eagerly and painfully for their chance to piss butts to nuts in a steaming trough.

“People don’t just come to Cubs games for the baseball or the beer, they want the bathroom comradery! Nothing gets the line moving faster and keeps the laughs rolling like a drunken old man screaming incoherently about pissing habits,” said Rusty Mason, a life-long Cubs fan that is said to bleed Old Style and design Family Guy inspired Cubs merch in his spare time.

The loosely defined “routine” consists of one joke that is recycled from year to year after a culmination of blackouts ultimately render Mason’s short term memory obsolete.

“I’ve got a doozy this year! Guided by the hand of our lord and savior Gordon’s Gin and a sock full of spray-paint! If you shake it more than once, you’re playing with it! Timely, relatable and unique, checks all of the boxes for a good joke!” continued Mason blowing black mold from his handheld AM/FM radio.

Cubs’ fans can look forward to a season of aggressively staring into their iPhones in an attempt to avert eye contact with the snickering maniac seeking affirmation.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s