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How to eat the potpourri from your grandma’s bathroom without her noticing

Sneaking a few flower petals or scented stones from the decorative vase on top of the toilet as a pre-dinner treat before grandma’s famous jellied lamb is a natural desire. Something to long over after a hard day of watching JAG reruns and playing gin rummy. A palate cleanser of sorts and arguably more refreshing than that piece of shit Andes that is inexplicably hawked at fine dining restaurants like the Golden Corral.

The task of consumption is rather complex however, as the sweet nuggets (new-gets) of Crate & Barrel trail mix are a luxury and something grandma counts every night before bed. Which is why pre-soaking a handful of pebbles from a Cracker Barrel parking lot in Dog the Bounty Hunter’s new cologne is the perfect way to replenish the mix without raising too many eyebrows.

By pre-soaking pebbles and twigs, you can eat the existing potpourri to your heart’s desire, go-ahead eat as much as you’d like! Simply replace it with your pebbles like a scene from Indiana Jones and old grandma will be none the wiser.

Just note this for next time as you would NOT want to eat the pebbles you had brought previously…OBVIOUSLY!