Below is a letter believed to be from the writer of The Wedding Ringer to Miramax Films:
To whomevverrr it may concert at Miramax Filmz,
I’m drunk. currently. And unmanagebly high. Once the parrot bay runned out. I turnt to huffing Axe body spray and eatingthe pellets out of ant traps because I thought it was my C3PO pez dispenser. I just puked. OH IT STINKS. Staringat my reflecton in this pile of vomit and animal hair I get the best idear for a blockbuster comedy film movie. Get a paunchy nerdy white asshole whodoesna have a frind in ther world. A real FUCKING loser. People WILL laugh if u cann make a character somhow moor pathetic then them. YOU MUST DIG DEEP, see Mike and Molly and 2 broke girls for example. Not havin friends=FUNNY. Oh godddd iitss coming back up…HUGHHHHHHHHH…when the HELL did I eat tha mad about you season 5 DVD….thatttt hurt, i hope that red stuff is dorito dust…yepppp it’s dorito dust! GODDAMNIT I JUST LIT THE Q WRONG END OF A CIGARETTE
FIND A POPULAR COMDENIAN NEXT! Preferably SHORT so you can make SHORT JOKES HAHA…comedians ooff average or less than..average height is funny…especially in my state to someone whoo findd a pile of his own BARF enternaining. Prefrably a different race ttoo so that theur is confusion about nerdy white people getting marrid but they al l understand and become FRIENDS IN THE END. THAT US KEY, it mustt give the illuzon of salviation
HAVE SOMEONE GET A BOIILING HOT SOUP PAN DUMPED ON THEIR LAP! Having your JUNK maimed by HOT Chickin noodlee soup gets THA LAUGHS! Lots of tacklingg, make sure ANYONE fat gets hit witha two by four…att some point someone old needs to FART haha! Call it somethin with A PUN likeee…THE WEDDING RINGPIECE…or EVEN BETTER THE WEDDING RINGER! NE WAYZ HAVENTE WIPED MY ASS in 4 dayes shood probably try.
Sinceryeluy yours forever,
SLAMOOO SAMATAYAWXXX INSECT 69!