Giant tub of workout supplement sitting on counter decreases property value by 50%

The economy sized kettle of hazardous looking workout supplement sitting on your counter is ruining much more than just your digestive track, thyroid gland and sexual drive. Experts are now speculating that the supplement jug thought to merely cause severe constipation and retreating genitals is also directly tied to plummeting property values. Not only is the protruding red vat covered in caution tape a festering wound that visually spoils virtually any room, it also leads to unsettling assumptions about the owner’s themselves which in turn cause the property value of the location as a whole to plunge.

“The toilet is a complete throw away, not only will the pipes be shot from those anguished protein dumps, but the rest will also be caked with self-tanner and hair from botched man-scaping.” Said one real-estate cautiously creaking open the bathroom door. “You can really feel the years of sexual frustration and over compensation in these marble counter tops, those will definitely have to go as well.” Continued the agent pausing to consider the depravity.

This coupled with the lingering smell of Axe Body Spray and failed dreams make the residence nearly uninhabitable.

noexplode

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s